School readiness isn’t what most people think it is

When parents speak to me about school readiness, what I hear first is concern for their child’s wellbeing. They worry about whether their child will cope with the transition, whether they will feel secure and whether they will manage the rhythm and expectations of school life. That starting point always makes sense to me because it feels thoughtful and deeply human.

Yet as the conversation unfolds, it often begins to shift. Parents start to talk about writing their name, holding a pencil correctly, recognising letters, counting confidently or sitting still at a table. There is often a quiet tension between what is said and what sits underneath it. The concern begins with wellbeing but very quickly shifts towards formal skills.

In my experience, parents are absolutely right to be thinking about wellbeing. Where we sometimes lose our way is in how that concern is interpreted. Having worked across different cultures, I have seen how ideas about school readiness shift depending on context but also how surprisingly consistent they remain underneath. In the UK for example, pressure begins early, with children expected to be ready by the time they reach Reception at age five. In Thailand, I saw a more visible clash between traditional expectations and contemporary early childhood thinking, with some families expecting children to read and write before school begins. Yet across many Western contexts, the underlying image of school remains strikingly similar; a formal place where children sit still, focus and begin what is often described as “real learning”. Play is still too easily seen as something that belongs firmly before school starts.

This perception is reinforced from many directions. Education systems, media narratives, political rhetoric and increasingly in today’s world of course, social media all contribute to a growing sense of urgency around so-called “readiness”. Most powerfully, I often see the pressure coming from within families themselves. Even the most thoughtful early years settings can struggle to ease anxiety when it is felt so deeply at home.

Over time, I find myself returning to the same reassurance that school readiness is not primarily about formal skills, it is about emotional readiness. As early years specialist Alastair Bryce-Clegg puts it so simply, school readiness is not about sitting still or writing your name. It is about being able to explore, regulate, connect and think.

That distinction changes everything.

What readiness actually looks like

When I think about a child who feels ready for school, I see something quite different from the traditional checklist. From a teacher’s perspective, a few practical foundations matter enormously in the early weeks of school life. Can they go to the toilet independently? Dress and undress themselves? Put on their shoes and coat? Eat independently? These everyday skills often matter far more than whether a child can already recognise letters or count by rote.

Beyond this, I think about four key capacities. A ready child is curious and willing to explore. They approach new experiences with interest and confidence, often finding new ways to engage with familiar ones. They are learning to regulate their emotions and can begin to manage frustration, share with others and recover from disappointment. They make connections, asking questions and relating new experiences to what they already know. And they think. They listen, reflect and take time to process experiences rather than rushing from one activity to the next.

These qualities closely reflect what Birth to Five Matters (UK Guidance) describes as the “Characteristics of Effective Learning”, which remain just as relevant once children walk through the school gates as they are in the early years themselves. They remind us that readiness is less about what children know and more about how they approach learning.

If I could suggest a starting point for families…

I would gently encourage families to focus on just a few areas before school begins:

Independence.

 Support your child in managing their own self-care and making simple choices to build confidence and security.

Environment.

Create space at home for exploration and play so curiosity can grow naturally. Sometimes this means joining your child in their play and sometimes it means stepping back and letting them lead.

Thinking.

Encourage questions, reflection and conversation to help your child make sense of their experiences in ways that no worksheet ever can. Simple phrases such as “I wonder…” can open powerful conversations.

So school readiness does matter, but not in the way we often imagine. When we shift our focus away from early academics and towards wellbeing, curiosity and independence, it is my strong belief that children arrive at school not only ready to learn but ready to love learning.